Psst! Hey, buddy! Want to score a free cup of Frogurt? It's the easiest gig in the world: All you have to do is get a train from one station to the next. In fact, you don't even have to pull any cars, you're just driving the locomotive. You accept? Great! Oh, uh… there are also airplanes and blimps trying to drop bombs on you, and a bunch of other enemy trains are going to try to make you crash. And it's pretty easy to run out of energy, and if you hit a red light, you're hosed… and the Frogurt is cursed. Have fun!
Gameplay: This is no ordinary locomotive. Oh, it may look like an ordinary, mild-mannered locomotive, with the smokestack and the pistons… but with the push of a button, your hypnotic disguise glasses come off, and you transform into Super Locomotive! Now you can blast right through trains who get in your way, and launch deadly puffs of smoke to destroy trains that creep up behind you. Missiles and bombs bounce right off you, and red lights may as well be invisible. But be careful. You've got a finite supply of energy, and transforming into Super Locomotive will deplete it quickly. If you can't pick up enough bonus oil to fill back up, you're boned. If you make it to the station, you'll try and fail to score any points in the hardest bonus game in history, before you hit the tracks on the next level.
Could be mistaken for: Sippin' on Jesus Juice in Reverend Lovejoy's basement; Locomotion.
Kids today might not like it because: Thomas The Tank Engine. What? Do we have to draw you a map?
Kids today might like it because: It's pretty fun, and they get to listen to music like the soundtrack to Contra, with an exotic Yie-Ar Kung-Fu flavor.
Enduring contribution to gaming history: The year Super Locomotive came out, Super Pac-Man and Super Zaxxon followed. Shortly after that, Super Mario Brothers conquered the world. Without Super Locomotive, who knows if those other "super" games would have made it.
Wil Wheaton has been workin' on his mojo all the live-long day.