Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

"I've run out of things to say, so I'm going to start repeating myself, and you're going to sit there and take it," says NFL Tour commentator Trey Wingo. Funny thing is, the repetition doesn't just come from the half-assed announcing—it's spread throughout this entire rush job. NFL Tour is meant as an antidote to the million button-presses needed to survive EA's Madden, but its approximation of football is oversimplified to an embarrassing level. Every seven-on-seven game pits helmetless NFLers against one another, and playing on the offensive side of the ball is a real ego-boost, because the defense is helpless. There is no defense. Nothing you do will get you a stop during the game's NFL Tour Mode, which is yawningly unimaginative: Each first down is an easy 10 yards. Ultimately, that turns every game into an extra-point affair. After each score, you'll have the opportunity to go for one point (from five yards out) or two (from 10 out). Out-two-point your opponent, and you'll win. Not thrilling. Also, for the Tour Mode, you'll get stuck choosing a generic create-a-player from a small handful of cookie-cutters.

Beyond the game: With the 10-yard first downs, lack of any flair, and overall timid feel, this one is the epitome of the NFL: the No Fun League.

Worth playing for: The game's saving grace is the ability to change up the rules in head-to-head play. For starters, we recommend switching to 40-yard first downs.

Frustration sets in when: The NFL's top running backs are like Weebles on the gridiron—they simply won't fall down. In one sample game, Ladanian Tomlinson kept his feet while breaking nine tackles. That means some guys missed twice!


Final judgment: Like Trey Wingo, we've run out of things to say, so we'll start repeating ourselves too: avoid, avoid, avoid.

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