Video games have given us some unlikely heroes: plumbers, clowns, ass-cramming mutants… Hell, they even managed to make a hero out of Popeye. So why not kangaroos? Why can't kangaroos be heroic? Why, goddammit? Well, it turns out that most kangaroos weren't presented with hero-making situations until 1982, when the evil pink monkeys showed up.
Gameplay: The evil pink monkeys have joey-napped your son, blindfolded him, caged him, and put him in the treetops. To save him, you'll need to work your way to the top, while the evil pink monkeys try to stop you. Luckily, they're not that tough, and you can punch them out easily. However, they have an endless supply of apples to throw at you, and you'll have to duck or jump to avoid them.
Beware of the big bad ape wearing boxing shorts! If you don't punch him out first, he'll steal your boxing gloves, leaving you defenseless against those suddenly deadly evil pink monkeys. High-score enthusiasts can collect bits of fruit on each level, though the time bonus you'll get will usually outweigh your fruit-score.
Could be mistaken for: Donkey Kong, Super Kangaroo Monkey Punch-Out 2025 (prototype, unreleased)
Kids today might not like it because: They've grown up in a world where monkeys are cool and hip, not pink, apple-throwing wusses. It could turn their whole world upside down.
Kids today might like it because: It's so weird to assume the role of a boxing kangaroo who fights evil pink monkeys, even the most jaded teenager may feel a twinge of… Ah, who are we kidding? They're probably not going to like it.
Enduring contribution to gaming history: Legend says that a young Mike Tyson, unable to pass the first level, said, "It's pure ludicrous that a kangaroo could fight like that! I'm going to have my own game where I'm the boxer."
Wil Wheaton would have gotten away with it if it wasn't for you meddling kids and your dog.
Image courtesy of the International Arcade Museum and the Killer List Of Video Games.