At first, Guzzler looks like a simple maze game, with a happy little guy running through puddles and spitting water at fires. But upon closer examination, it's actually a dark, complex parable about the dangers of public drunkenness.

Or is it? Sometimes, a blobby little guy with pink shoes and antennae who blasts anthropomorphic fires is just a blobby little guy with pink shoes and antennae who blasts anthropomorphic fires. Your Dadaist mileage will certainly vary, but it only costs 25 cents a gallon.


Gameplay: Each level has four large, colorful fires burning; they spawn equally colorful fire monsters that chase you around. To clear each level, you'll have to use your magical puke-breath to extinguish the four fires. With each blast, you move a bit faster and get closer to being an empty outline with pink shoes. You'll get three puke blasts before you're empty; you refill by drinking (or guzzling, natch) from puddles and other beverages. (Note that when you aren't full of drink, you're a shell of a man, but you can move faster. Discuss.)

Each level is a maze of varying complexity; some are filled with walls, and others hardly have anything in them but fires and puddles. From time to time, an alcoholic beverage will appear in the center of the screen. If you pick it up, you'll fill to maximum, and the fires will all temporarily freeze. (Note that drinking alcohol gives you an apparent, though temporary, sense of power and invincibility. Discuss.)

Could be mistaken for: Super Pac-Man, staggering home from Dublin's on Saturday night


Kids today might not like it because: Making a puking drunk the hero of a game lacks the redeeming social value of, say, Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas.

Kids today might like it because: Drinking, puking, blazing… it's like freshman year at college all over again!

Enduring contribution to gaming history: Guzzler glorified antisocial behavior 15 years before Rockstar Games turned it into a brazillian-dollar business.


Wil Wheaton may have stretched it a little with the drunken analogy. Discuss.